We all have pet peeves and things that irritate us about our partners. Whether it’s leaving clothes on the floor or the way they talk, such things may be a cause for disagreements but they’re a normal part of relationships. They shouldn’t be a sign of trouble in paradise as they are easy to resolve.
However, there are certain things you should never overlook no matter how seemingly happy or perfect your relationship is. These things are known as red flags. They are basically a warning sign that someone may be emotionally dangerous. By knowing what are red flags in a relationship, you’ll be able to avoid getting into or staying with a toxic partner.
Here are some relationship red flags to look out for.
No Friends
They say, “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.” Before getting into a relationship with someone, it’s important to know who their friends are. If they don’t have any, you should be cautious. Someone who doesn’t have friends will make you the center of their world and rely on you for their happiness. This can be overwhelming leaving you feeling drained and unhappy in the relationship.
Irresponsible
One of the biggest red flags in a relationship is an irresponsible partner. It’s hard to build a future with someone who doesn’t pull their weight in the relationship and expects you to do all the work. Additionally, this is a common cause for conflict which leads to more strain in the relationship. Whether it’s financial, emotional, sexual or communication responsibility, both partners have to take charge of the relationship for it to work.
Abuse
Abuse of any kind is an immediate red flag. Anyone who is cruel to you, a loved one, strangers or even animals lacks the capability to deal with their emotions in a healthy way which can be detrimental to your mental health. Unfortunately, there are some forms of abuse such as emotional and financial abuse, that aren’t easy to recognize. You should stay vigilant to notice any signs of this kind of abuse.
Lack Of Communication Skills
Dealing with a partner who is passive-aggressive or doesn’t communicate with you at all can be exhausting. Lack of open communication can lead to distance between you and your partner which makes it harder to have a positive change in the relationship. The silent treatment and passive aggressiveness is also a form of emotional abuse which should be reason enough to end the relationship if you can’t find a healthy solution.
Emotionally Unavailable
A relationship is supposed to be a safe place for both partners to lean on each other but when you’re dating an emotionally unavailable person, this isn’t the case. While you’re always there for them, they’re nowhere to be found when you need them. They’re never fully committed to the relationship and are unable to truly love you.
Unfortunately, many people believe that they can change such a person and choose to stay in the relationship. The truth is commitment issues don’t heal with time. It’s only when the emotionally unavailable person decides to work on themselves that they will become a better partner.
Infidelity
One of the most important things you should know about someone before you start dating is whether they have a history of cheating. While most people will say no, whether it’s true or not, it’s still important to know. If you happen to find out your partner has a history of cheating, you must think carefully about whether you want to pursue the relationship. The obvious reason is they may end up cheating on you but even if they don’t, this may affect your ability to trust your partner leading to insecurity in the relationship.
Narcissistic
We all know dealing with a narcissist is difficult, yet many find themselves tolerating this behaviour in their relationship. A narcissistic partner can make your life unbearable since they always make things about themselves and never consider their partner’s feelings. If you choose to stay with such a person, you’ll always have to compromise which can breed resentment and make you lose confidence in yourself.
Lying
Telling a white lie once or twice in a relationship is no big deal. However, when your partner is constantly lying to you, you should be worried. It’s a big red flag since honesty is essential for a happy and thriving relationship. It allows us to be ourselves and be vulnerable with our partner since you don’t have to question everything your partner says or does.
Controlling
Controlling behaviour can come off as sweet or caring at first, especially for someone who isn’t used to getting attention in a relationship. Again, it can be harmless, to a certain extent. It becomes a red flag when your partner controls every aspect of your life like who you talk to, when you go and how you dress. It may start off subtly but things can become intense with time making you feel suffocated in your relationship. To be safer, avoid people who show signs of being controlling.
Unstable
Hot then cold, in then out, yes then no are clear signs of an emotionally unstable partner. One minute they are love-bombing you and the next, they are gaslighting you. Confronting such a person is another issue since you don’t know how they will react. If your partner displays such behaviour, it’s best to end the relationship before things escalate.